It feels like the world changed completely and irreversibly. And I just don’t know what to think of it. My heart is so torn by the news of the death of Osama bin Laden.
This has been an emotional week for me. I am feeling the same emotions I felt on the day of the Columbine school shooting and on September 11, 2001. I remember exactly where I was on both of those occasions – and exactly how I felt and ALL the emotions that assaulted me. The same is true now, after bin Laden’s death. I know where I was, who I was with and how profoundly it broke my heart.
I am proud to be an American. I really am. But as a Christian, I have a different perspective on patriotism, nationalism, Americanism. Having lived overseas for so long, I view things differently than most Americans. There are some things that I have learned by living outside of my own culture for so long:
First of all, while it is good to be proud of where I come from, I have learned that I had nothing to do with what country I was born in. My earthly nationality was none of my own doing. I believe that God ordained it long before the foundations of the earth were laid. I am grateful for this, but I am acutely aware of the fact that I could have just as easily been born in Afghanistan or Lithuania or Argentina. How can I take pride in something that I had nothing to do with?
Another thing I’ve learned – and this awareness has been heightened this week – is that I am bound to live on this earth, but my real life is in the spiritual realm. Because of this, I have no choice but to view things with a spiritual mindset and not an earthly one. This has been very difficult for me this week – to balance the two.
Here is my struggle: At the very root of my struggle, I don’t understand how killing one man solves any problem. Especially one man who most likely did not know Jesus. I know what happens to people who die without Jesus and I cannot rejoice that Osama is there. No matter how evil he was, I believe that God mourns the loss of even one so evil. He is now separated – FOREVER – from a loving Father with definitely no hope of ever knowing Him. This is a sad day.
On the other hand, this is war and people die in war. My nephew, Nathan, returned from Afghanistan the same day that President Obama announced the death of Osama bin Laden. He is a United States Marine. And I am so proud of him. I am so proud of him for defending our country. It is because of the sacrifice of him and thousands of others that I have the freedom to travel to other countries to tell people about Jesus.
But….
I hate it that people have to kill other people. I don’t know how God views this. And this….THIS is my struggle. I know what God thinks about man killing man, I mean, good grief, this is one of the 10 Commandments! But, what if man is killing man in war? Will that man be held accountable for the other man’s death or is it different if it was done under orders of the government, to which we are commanded to be obedient?
My heart has broken this week as I have heard comments from other Christians, rejoicing in the death of another man. Is this really something to rejoice about? This has shaken me and made me re-evaluate what I think about war, and even the death penalty. I feel confused, to be honest….confused and heartbroken.
Dear Lord,
I know that Your Word says that nation will rise against nation but does that mean you’re okay with this? My heart is breaking over the death of this man who most likely did not know you. I am reminded again of a world that is dying without you. I am determined to see change and regeneration happen around the globe…I am committed to getting your Truth into the world so that no more have to die without the knowledge of You.
